Love and Peaches
by meteora-ice24
Summary: (Chapter 2 minna!)The 3 cursed paintings have come to life, and Gojyo has to date one of them to get them back to their scrolls! Except his date wasn't so monstrous...R & R people!
1. Boredom

This is my 4th fic here peeps!!! So read it and weep!!! (from laughter!!!)  
  
And I'm talking about Gojyo torture here!!! (no offense to his fans here, I'm in love with him too!) I wanted to make a Valentine's Day fic, but I've run out of ideas!!! T-T  
  
Anyone want to help? I want to make it into a Sanzo/.or fuck all the people your making him pair with!!! I love him too much to let go!!! (joke joke joke!)  
  
Read this one ok?! I have to practice the Coca Cola jingle, which became a latest fad here in the Philippines. (if anyone's a Filipino here you'll know what I'm talking about!)  
  
(starts practicing) Ito ang beat sabay-sabay ito ang beat walang sablay pabilis ng pabilis ng pabilis ng pabilis gets mo na gets mo na aaaaaahhhhh!!! Coca Cola!!! Nalilito nalilito nalilito nalilito Coke ko to Coke ko to Coke ko to!!!!  
  
Yay!!! I did it!!! And without further ado.Love and Peaches!!! (sorry for the sucky title)  
  
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@  
  
[Chapter 1: Boredom]  
  
Gojyo was bored.  
  
And with that he was ready to tear off his hair around his head.  
  
They've been driving around halfway around the world, ate, and drove. They stopped every while defeating about a hundred or thousand of demons who wanted the Maten Kyomon, and drove. And after much whining of the fucking idiotic monkey, they ate again and Goku received whacks from Sanzo's paper fan and Hakkai's gentle words, and they drove. And drove.  
  
And now they were staying in this low-class stuffy inn, and he was staying in this low-class stuffy room that night.  
  
he thought bitterly. [AN: symbolizes thoughts]  
  
There was a knock on the door.  
  
"Great," he said to himself sarcastically. "Now who can that be? As if I didn't know."  
  
"Gojyo," a voice said from the other side. "It's Hakkai."  
  
Gojyo opened the door, revealing Hakkai's forever-smiling face.  
  
"Now you've got my attention," Gojyo said, leaning against the door. "What's up?"  
  
"I figured you're getting bored, so I suggest you go to the spring festival outside." Hakkai said.  
  
"Spring festival?" Gojyo hoped he'd misheard. "That geek fest?"  
  
"Now, Gojyo," Hakkai began. "It's no geek fest. If I knew it was one, you wouldn't find people enjoying themselves this much outside, now would we?"  
  
Gojyo raised his brows and turned to look outside the window.  
  
Gojyo continued to look at this festival, looking more like a carnival fair than a festival. There was a huge Ferris wheel, a mini carousel, and lots of try-your-luck game booths. They were lots of kids and adults running around happily, enjoying the party that night. And the smell of food hung in the air, making Gojyo realize how hungry he was.  
  
"I also noticed this town is free of demons or any demonic energy," he heard Hakkai say behind him.  
  
"Sweet. A demon-free town," Gojyo turned to him with a smile. "That ought to be something."  
  
"Yes, I know. Looks like there'll be no fighting for a while, thank God." Hakkai said, his grin growing wider.  
  
"Let me guess, Sanzo and Goku went there too?"  
  
"Of course. I would like to go and join you, but this migraine is in my way." Hakkai rubbed his temples together.  
  
"Okay." Gojyo said, getting ready to leave. "Cook something up for me when I get back."  
  
"Sure." He smiled. "Have a good time."  
  
And now Gojyo is walking on the streets, meeting the vision of bright lights and happy voices all around him. He really wasn't in the mood to walk around or anything, but at least he had something to do.  
  
He continued to walk further, noticing some teenage girls and pretty women in sundresses, looking like a bunch of long legged butterflies. And before he knew it, a group of them walked right past him.  
  
A few of them giggled once they saw him. A pretty brunette batted eyes at him, while a raven-haired one tossed her long locks flirtatiously to add the effect.  
  
Gojyo stopped to smile and wink at them.  
  
They giggled again, their faces pinker than usual.  
  
Gojyo smirked and continued to walk, finally full of high spirits.  
  
Or so he'd thought.  
  
[T.B.C.] 


	2. Curse Reversed

Chapter 2 people!!!  
  
Oh, and hey!!! Did you know this story is a PARODY from an episode in Ranma ½? It was so cute and funny that I edited it Saiyuki style!!!  
  
Hehe, just thought you wanted to know!!! ^_^  
  
Holler me if my English sucks!!!  
  
(Author's Notes: [...] symbolize thoughts)  
  
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[Chapter 2: Curse Reversed]  
  
WHOOOOSSSSHHH!!! SMACK!!!  
  
"Ow!!!" Gojyo screamed. "What the hell?!"  
  
He gripped the back of his head, which was hit by some kind of hard paper. With half-closed eyes, he bent and picked up something lying on the dirt.  
  
A huge paper fan. More like a holy paper fan.  
  
[Which can only mean one thing...]  
  
"Ha ha ha!!!" a little boy's voice cried. "You missed!!!"  
  
SMACK!!!  
  
"Itee..." Gojyo heard him cry.  
  
"Hmph," a low bass voice said. "Stupid monkey."  
  
Gojyo looked at the holy fan again. [Hey, that sounds like---]  
  
"Sanzo!!!" Goku whined. "Mou haraheta!!!"  
  
"You just ate, kono kuso saru!!! Chikusho..." Sanzo grumbled.  
  
Gojyo chuckled. [It's a fucking small world after all.]  
  
The spring festival was still going strong, that more and more people were coming every minute. Gojyo just ate some cold tofu and ice cream after he completely stuffed himself, and he just won a new lighter and economy- packed Marlboro's from those game booths, but he was running out of loot. And the night was still young...  
  
[Who knows? Maybe Sanzo-sama will cut me some slack just this once. It's not his money anyways.] Gojyo thought, running after them.  
  
"Oi!!! Namagusa bouzu!!!" he said, almost towering behind the blonde priest.  
  
Sanzo suddenly turned his head to his direction, and then gave the redhead such a cold death glare that would have burned holes on people's backs.  
  
"I see you've found my fan," Sanzo said, grabbing the fan from Gojyo's hands. Gojyo suddenly had the urge to tell the monk the reason how he found the found the stupid fan, but then he reconsidered.  
  
[I'm not in the mood to be killed tonight.] he thought with a shudder.  
  
"What a coincidence," Sanzo continued. "I thought you were screwing someone just now."  
  
"Naturally," Gojyo replied. "But Hakkai forced me to come here."  
  
Sanzo smirked. "Join the club."  
  
"Ne, Sanzo! There a show back there and it'll start soon!!!" Goku called, and then disappeared in the crowd.  
  
Gojyo looked around, and then saw a huge tent with lots of people going inside. A huge signboard was placed outside, and the crowd eyes sparkled with interest.  
  
"The Cursed Paintings of Fa Zhuo," Gojyo read from the signboard. "Ooh!!! Sounds scary!!!" he added, faking a shiver.  
  
"Tsk," Sanzo grunted. "Sounds like one of those money corruptors."  
  
"Nah, admission looks free."  
  
"Great." The monk said, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
  
"Sanzo!" Goku called again." Ah, Gojyo!!! I thought you were screwing someone!!!"  
  
Sweatdrop.  
  
"Does he even know what that means?!" Gojyo hissed.  
  
Sanzo narrowed his eyes. "Don't ask me."  
  
They were now inside the tent, and there was a huge stage with three huge vertical scrolls rolled up the ceiling and fastened with a rope to make the scrolls roll down when the rope is jerked. A Chinese man came up the stage, and everyone was now silenced.  
  
"Behold!!! The three cursed paintings of the Fa clan I now present to you!!! They were drawn with a cursed brush, and colored with cursed paint, and were painted on cursed scrolls!!!" Fa Zhuo said with a booming voice.  
  
"Cursed, cursed, cursed! Everything is cursed! What the hell does this guy take us for?!" Gojyo whispered annoyingly.  
  
"After they've been drawn by my relatives, they've all experienced deaths a year after!!! And now after they've all been passed from generation to generation, I'll show the world the cause of their deaths!!! The first painting!!!" he yelled, jerking down the rope of the first scroll. Everyone held their breath.  
  
"A huge spider Shikigami!!! My grandfather has drawn it, and he died of a fire accident after a year!!!" Fa Zhuo said. The crowd ooooohed and aaaaahed.  
  
The drawing showed a scary spider Shikigami, but drawn not too terribly either. A talisman was on the lower left part of the scroll.  
  
"The second painting!!! A dragon Shikigami!!! It has been drawn by my father before he died of an incurable disease!!!" Fa Zhuo boomed, opening the second scroll. More ooooohs and aaaaahs.  
  
But there was another talisman was on the painting.  
  
"Why would anyone put a talisman on an ordinary painting?" Gojyo asked. "Seems unnatural."  
  
"Saa ne," Sanzo seemed bothered too. "Unless..."  
  
"Unless what?" the redhead asked nervously.  
  
"And now my latest masterpiece," Fa Zhuo yelled, ready to jerk down the third scroll.  
  
He jerked the rope down to reveal the third painting, but a flash of a chocolate blur suddenly passed all through the paintings.  
  
It was Goku.  
  
"Yeah!!!" Goku cried triumphantly, holding three strips of paper in one hand. "I got `em!!!"  
  
Except they weren't ordinary strips of paper. They were all talismans. All from those three paintings.  
  
"Why you stupid monkey!!!" Gojyo yelled.  
  
"Oh no!!!" Fa Zhuo panicked. "Look what you have just done!!!"  
  
People also started panicking, not really caring what the third painting looked like at all.  
  
Then bright lights suddenly flashed from the paintings, and they all went in different directions.  
  
[Uh oh.]  
  
[T.B.C.] 


	3. Panda Scribble?

[Chapter 3: Panda Scribble?]  
  
People were already running out of the tent, all knowing that something bad happened.  
  
"Eh?" Goku widened his eyes. "What's going on?"  
  
The first two Shikigamis from the paintings have turned into giants so huge that they could cover the whole town when put together. Now they started destroying buildings in plain sight.  
  
"Damn it, what a mess you've made," Sanzo grumbled, shooting the monsters with his spirit-ascending gun.  
  
No use. The bullets just went straight through them.  
  
Gojyo grabbed Fa Zhuo by the collars. "All right, old man," he screeched. "You have a ton of explaining to do!!!"  
  
Fa Zhuo stammered. "Well, I-it's kind of..."  
  
"Let me guess, " Sanzo interrupted. "Those talismans are used to seal those Shikigamis up, don't they?"  
  
Fa Zhuo nodded nervously. "I swear I was going to tell you, misters! I swear!!!"  
  
"Bakero!!! You should have told us earlier!!!" Gojyo cried.  
  
Goku tapped his chin thoughtfully. "So, the only way to get them all back is to use these talismans? Sounds easy!!!"  
  
SMACK!!!  
  
"Itai yo!!!" Goku cried. "What did I ever do to you?!"  
  
"You released all the monsters, damn monkey!!!" Sanzo yelled angrily.  
  
"Calm down, misters," Fa Zhuo said. "The only thing you have to do is to get the third monster to go back to its scroll and they will all go back."  
  
"And what if we didn't?" Sanzo asked.  
  
"If you didn't get them all back by midnight, I'm afraid the worse will be assumed, misters."  
  
The two Shikigamis roared, drowning in the sounds of screaming people in the air.  
  
"Perfect!" Gojyo said sarcastically. "So much for not fighting!"  
  
Goku looked around. "Dakedo...where is the third monster?"  
  
"Hmph, I assume it must be a crab Shikigami that you made yourself, right old man?" Sanzo told him curtly.  
  
"Well, it's not much of a monster..." Fa Zhuo said slowly.  
  
A bright light suddenly flashed over them. The third monster was out.  
  
"Get ready, Goku," Sanzo commanded. "The third monster will come this way!" Goku summoned his staff. "I'm ready!" he declared.  
  
Gojyo took his weapon and got into a fighting position. Until...  
  
"I'm freeeeee!!!" a voice came from the light. A LITTLE girl voice.  
  
Gojyo relaxed an iota. [What?!]  
  
Instead of seeing a horrible monster as expected, they saw something looked like a badly drawn little panda, with a small flower in clipped on the ear and was wearing a small pink dress.  
  
And if you see it up close, it looked horribly drawn. The panda's eyes were huge, and the huge smile was frozen on its face. It looked like a drawing of a 3-year old.  
  
Sanzo put his gun down. "You must be kidding."  
  
"That's the third monster? And you actually drew that?" Goku asked Fa Zhuo.  
  
"Well...yes, I did, misters." Fa Zhuo answered.  
  
"Well, it looks more like graffiti to me, old man," Gojyo said sadistically. "You call that a masterpiece? Seriously!"  
  
Gojyo grabbed a talisman from Fa Zhuo's shaking hand, and approached the panda scribble.  
  
"Oh, freedom!!!" the little panda scribble said happily. "I've never felt so happy all my life!"  
  
Gojyo went in front of the panda scribble, and showed her the talisman.  
  
"Eeeeeek!!!" the panda scribble shrieked, then started sobbing.  
  
Gojyo felt stiff. "Are you serious?"  
  
"How mean you are to me!" the panda scribble cried. "I never went out of my scroll all my life, and now your forcing me to go back again? Mou kechiii!!!"  
  
"There, there little panda," Fa Zhuo cooed. "What do me to do to make you feel better again?"  
  
"Well," the panda scribble stopped crying. "I would like to have a date with a handsome man, please."  
  
"And if someone dated you, you'll go back to the scroll?"  
  
"Anything!!!" the panda scribble said in her little girl voice. "I would like to remember this night forever!"  
  
A sudden thought raced through Goku, and then he suddenly tiptoed away from the growing crowd. Gojyo grabbed him from his shirt.  
  
"And just where do you think you're going, monkey?" Gojyo asked coolly.  
  
"I know what your thinking!" Goku yelled while trying to squirm away from Gojyo. "I'm not dating her!"  
  
"You're the one who caused all this mess!" Gojyo yelled back.  
  
"So why should I date tha-that THING?!" Goku whined.  
  
"Don't you feel sorry for her?!" Gojyo asked him.  
  
Gojyo let go of Goku and he landed ungracefully to the dirt. "Here your date, panda-chan."  
  
Panda scribble cried again. "You're mean! I wanted to date a handsome man, not a really ugly little monkey!!!"  
  
"I'm not a monkey!" Goku yelled, stamping his foot.  
  
Panda scribble looked at Gojyo. There was something on those cartoon-ish eyes...  
  
A sudden thought went to Gojyo. He started tiptoeing away from them; until Sanzo grabbed his shirt the way he grabbed Goku's.  
  
"Now where are you going?" Sanzo asked sternly.  
  
"Ooh!!! I want to date Gojyo-kun!!!" the panda scribble said happily.  
  
"No way I'm dating her!!!" Gojyo yelled.  
  
"Don't you feel sorry for her?!" Goku asked, glaring at him.  
  
"Oh, you have some nerve to copy me, you little---"  
  
SMACK! SMACK!  
  
"Urusee!" Sanzo yelled, slapping them both with his fan. "Gojyo, go date that thing."  
  
"But Sanzo---"  
  
Sanzo grabbed him by the collars. "Two things, okay?! Either, you date that creature or fight those Shikigamis!"  
  
"But why can't I fight them?" Gojyo whined.  
  
Sanzo looked at the panda, then back at him. "That panda wants you, all right. You have four hours `till midnight."  
  
Sanzo let go of him. "If you screw this up, I'll kill you."  
  
Gojyo gulped.  
  
Goku started fighting with the spider Shikigami. Sanzo already started shooting the dragon Shikigami. Gojyo just watched them until he felt the panda scribble's paw touch his hand.  
  
"Shall we go now, Gojyo-kun?" the panda scribble asked shyly.  
  
"We-well I---"  
  
"Have fun, you two!" Goku trilled before continuing to fight the monster.  
  
Gojyo sighed unhappily. [This is not my day.]  
  
[T.B.C.] 


End file.
